LEXUS BRADBURY UNCOVERED (PART II)
Hey guys and welcome to our new blog. We hope you enjoyed Part I of our interview with Lexus Bradbury. At Muddy Pawz, we understand it can be difficult living a lie. Square pegs do not fit into round holes. It's a fascinating insight into the difficulties transgender people face growing up.
It's been an amazing few weeks with the company launch, and also the release of our first Hip-Hop mixtape by our resident DJ, Scratch Baby. The video's already hit it's first hundred views, and we know it will go on to do much greater numbers over the coming weeks and months. It's BANGING !!
If you like your Hip Hop, Rap, and RnB, then you are NOT going to want to miss out on this project. Lexy actually speaks on it later in our interview. So, you'll be able to read about her music further down the road.
You can listen to the Mixtape right here. ENJOY !!
So, without further ado, we bring you Part II of our sit down with the bitch who put the sexual back in transsexual, Lexus Bradbury !!
Lexy, earlier you've eluded that you had some things going on with your parents growing up. Do you mind if we go in on that ? There could be others going through it, or have gone through something similar, we think it'd be helpful. It also might be helpful for you no ?
Sure, why not, lets go.
You mentioned your parents were drinkers, and also that you didn't want your Mums partners surname. I'm getting vibes there was a lot going on ?
That's shocking, was your Dad the same then ?
I don't think so no. He was more mental with his torture. My last memory of my father as a child, is him pulling a gun on me. I was chilling watching Thomas The Tank, and he just came in from work waving this gun around. I wasn't really scared at the time, I didn't know what was going on. My Mum was terrified though, begging him for my life. Eventually when he'd had his bit of fun, he fucked off to bed. My family (The Bradbury's), chased him out of town that evening. Didn't see him then for about twelve years after that. I actually didn't remember this for years, it came back during therapy.
I grew up hearing stories of how he never wanted me. He kneed my Mum in the stomach during pregnancy, and she nearly lost me. They told her she was losing me. She was bleeding heavily, and then fortunately, the bleeding stopped. I'm lucky to even be here. I do wonder if it had impact on my development with me ending up transsexual. I guess we will never know.
So you and everything you've ever done nearly never happened, wow !! Lexy, given the opportunity, is there anything you'd like to say to him now ?
A lot of things yeah. He had four kids, he now has three. I had two sisters and a little brother. I'm number three of his kids. So there was our Brina, then Louise, then me, then our Ches. Louise passed away a few year back. Some of that is on him. Both of my sisters were put into the care system, at a time where kids were going through all kinds of shit in there. Brina coped with it better than Louise I think. Louise spent probably a third of her later life in a mental hospital. She got out eventually, but didn't last long. She didn't want to speak to us which is fine, we represent that reminder. There was never any bad memories with any of my siblings, but we still remind one another of him.
With his kids, he had a second chance, and in some cases a third. We all gave him another chance, despite what can only be described as despicable crimes he's committed over the years.
For me, I was done with him the day I woke up from my facial surgery and he wasn't there. That was major fucking surgery. They took the top of my skull off, I was afraid, and afterwards, in immense pain. As I lay there in my bed, head wrapped like a mummy, bleeding from several places, he was one of the people my thoughts drifted to. I knew we were done. If I could do that without him, why would I ever need him again.
In his defence, people say, well you weren't talking, how could he know. I'm a high profile model, he doesn't check on my social from time to time no ? And lets be real, he didn't even attend his own child's funeral.
I've had to do things that have hurt me emotionally and mentally, to raise the money for my surgery. If any of my kids ever needed to raise money for surgery, I would do every one of them things myself, again, so they don't have to live with the damage.
My Sister and I are in one of our fell out phases, it's nothing too heavy, but at the moment, we don't really speak. She was our rock where you failed us. She was there for me, Lou, and Ches. She text me about a year ago saying you were dying, I just left the message on read.
Is there anything to him you're thankful for ?
Absolutely, two things. The first is his musical influence on me. I was into music well before he came back into my life, it obviously runs in the blood from his side. We had a period of my life in my late teens, where he was in my life. My ex girlfriend outed me for being transsexual when I broke up with her. It was a different time and I got scared. I had nowhere to turn where I grew up, because everyone now knew I was dressing as a woman. I'd fallen out with my Mum and her girlfriend. So, in desperation, I tried turning to him.
Anyway, he was a singer and entertainer, so he'd take me out with his girlfriend to his gigs in Blackpool. He wasn't anything special, but he did understand music, and his partner was really good with sound. They spent time with me showing me how it all worked, and I was eager to learn.
I never got any gifts from my father, so it was a surprise when he bought me a pair of CD Mixers. Absolutely terrible to mix with CDs, especially when I was learning, but it was a start. It turns out they weren't a gift. He made me work in his little shop for a month to pay them back. I never really complained and just got on with it.
There was also his casual influence with music. Just simply sitting with him and listening with him. He introduced me to Sinatra and Joe Longthorne. It wasn't the type of stuff I'd have listened to, but now I love it.
So for this, I'm absolutely grateful.
I'm also grateful for everything he put me through. Whether directly or indirectly. I'm not certain without the practice, I'd have been strong enough to transition.
So when he left, is that when your Mum got with a woman ?
Well, there was a gap of a heavenly period, it was probably as good as childhood got this stage. Nan and Grandad wanted to move, and signed their house over to my Mum and her Brother my Uncle Sam. We were living together the three of us for a good few year.
Uncle Sam was an alcoholic, but he never put a foot wrong with me. I miss him so much.
Few years in, she met her girlfriend.
That must have been strange for you, going from Mum and Dad to effectively two Mums. What became of your Uncle ?
I didn't think nothing of it, for a while I just figured it was my Mums friend. She seemed nice enough.
My Uncle was forced out about 6 months into her girlfriend being there. It sickens me. If I recall, it was 92, and in the space of months, both my Nan and Uncle Sam died. He was found in his flat alone. My Grandad had to kick the door off and found him. That shit hit me hard. Hearing about it pretty much destroyed my childhood.
That must have been difficult losing two relatives you were close with.
So Your Mums now with a woman, it's you, your Mum and now your Mums girlfriend in the house, what was that like ?
Early days fine, but then again, narcissists always are. I want to be clear. My Mum was already abusive to me, long before she came along. Her problem was, she was a functioning alcoholic. Well barely functioning alcoholic. Without my Mum enabling her, she wouldn't have been able to live the way she was. It wasn't clear at first, she was all smiles and seemed dead eager to be involved in my life. Once my Mum was in the bag, she began to show us who she really was. We stopped going out and doing things together. The smile had left her face and she was just unpleasant. You could cut the air with a knife when she was sober. Then, there was this pocket of a few hours of her being tipsy where she was back to her old self. Then she was just a horrible cunt.
You'd hear her all night, moaning and chipping away at my Mum. Screaming and shouting constantly in the house. Getting me out of bed in the early hours, to ask me who I wanted to live with. I was getting in shit at school for falling asleep. It was a different time back then. Today, a kids falling asleep in class, the school would be all over it. Back then, stay behind and say the lords prayer to make up for it.
The violence they committed to one another was awful. I knew it was getting worse, when I found my Mum knocked out cold at the bottom of the staircase. Her girlfriend had headbutted her and walked out. I was about eight ? And she still stayed with her. I still have nightmares about that to this day, it was awful, I thought she was dead. She was my Mums bully, my Mum was my bully, that's how the food chain worked.
How did this not get picked up Lexy ? You shouldn't have been there !!
Early 90s were a different time. My Mum, now always had a hangover keeping up drinking with her girlfriend, so now she was ultra mean. She would give me frequent good hidings over stuff that didn't require a beating, and then I'd be sent to bed. There was a pattern of me being sent to bed on Friday after a good hiding, and then I'd be expected to stay in bed until Monday when I had school. Mum used to come in my room Sunday evening, and give me this behaviour talk how it was good for me, but she was just rationalising her bullshit.
She would make me get out of bed, strip down and put my arms out, and slowly turn around. I didn't realise what was happening at the time, but she was checking for bruises. She's fucking vile. If I was marked up, Mum would suddenly go all nice and tell me I had the week off. She kept me off to hide the bruises, because she knew what she was doing was wrong.
Would you like to take a break Lexy ? I can see you feel a way about this.
We've been going a while now, one more question, then I'll go take a break.
Can we stay on this still for a while ?
Yeah go ahead
I suppose the question is what happened next ?
Well this went on for years and years. I think the worst it got was the Saturday afternoon they decided to visit the local pub. They'd started drinking about midday. It seemed normal at the time, but it's not really. I could tell by about half one they were on the way. Then they got the stupid idea to go up to the local. I'd already started to fuck them both off and build my own life by now, so usually, weekends I'd either be at work, or at a friends. This particular day, Mum asked me to babysit our dog, so I stayed home. It got to like ten at night, there was still no sign of them. They left half cut, and had been at the pub now roughly eight hours. I was becoming increasingly concerned. Midnight, still no sign of them. It would have been about one in the morning my Mum appeared in view from the flats over the road from my house. She appeared to be waving, I figured she was drunk and just waving. But as she got closer, her face was etched in horror.
I began rushing my Mum into the house, no time to even look back. Her girlfriend was a big girl. She'd piled on the pounds with her lazy lifestyle and alcoholism. Me nor Mum ever stood a chance. I got us both inside, and then looked out the living room window. Still no sign of the cunt.
Was only a moment though before she came bounding round the corner, with her little drunken stomp. She was so plastered, she was bouncing off the wall and falling all over the place. She'd exhibited unnatural behaviour patterns throughout the years with her drinking that often frightened me. Getting up for school and finding broken plates and carving knives laid out on the table. I grew up afraid for both of us. Now, she's attacked my Mum, and she's slowly but surely, climbing up off the floor, and making her way directly back to my home. A home once filled with my family. My Nan and Grandads old home, now it had turned to this.
She pulled her fat drunken arse up off the floor, and started getting closer to the house, that's when the real nightmare began.
This will conclude Part II of our fascinating interview with the bitch who put the sexual back in transsexual, Lexus Bradbury. At times this wasn't an easy interview for either of us, and I can totally understand why Lexy didn't want to talk for so long. We'll be back next Friday, with Part III, and the conclusion of this story and chapter.
If any of this has triggered your own trauma, then please please reach out for help. You do not have to suffer alone. A great place to start is with Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/
If you're being abused, or going through abuse, or know of a child going through abuse. Please pick up the phone, and contact the Police. 999 in an emergency, and 101 in non emergency situations.
If you are struggling with substance misuse and alcohol abuse, please contact your GP, and actively seek help.
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